Living With Your In-Laws or Parents, Money Saving Tip? – By Enoch Awuku Anti
Ordinarily living with in-laws should not have been an issue but where there are individual, societal, group and national differences, expect it to vary. Maybe I need to paint the picture clearly for all to see it well. Married couple living with in-laws is what I am going about; not the bride or groom living with their in-laws alone.
For some people, living with in-laws is something very much frowned upon by society, but really is there a basis for that frowning? Living for your comfort, peace of mind or conforming to societal whims and caprices?
I read this in the national dailies the other day which set me writing about this topic. It read, “I am a married man struggling with accommodation and coughing huge sums of money averaging about Ghc3000.00 ($1875)a year for rent alone. Meanwhile, my in-laws have an accommodation we could have easily started life in and save all those huge sums of money called rent advance for my own place within a very short time. It’s difficult to admit, but I think I have been stupid…”
Controversial? Yes I know it is, but please read with an open mind and let’s do some deep but honest thinking. This will make us correct this gentleman’s dilemma and ‘stupidity’ as he calls it.
For me, I don’t think he erred in the least! The basis for my submission is an understanding I got into a little portion of scripture I read a few weeks ago.
“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (Ephesians 5:31
I believe as Christians, the most final authority in our lives is the word of God. Unfortunately, we do not follow strictly the word of God and I am sure that accounts for some, most if not all of our problems in life. For many of us, our beliefs has been shaped largely from what we hear from ‘men and women of God’ without we examining it from the canons of the Holy Bible. So when Mike Murdock said “every problem in this world is a wisdom problem”, he is right and we ought to believe him.
“A MAN LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED UNTO HIS WIFE…”
The above portion of the scripture did not tell us where the woman is, did it? In my understanding, the woman does not leave...it is the man who leaves and joins with the wife (wherever she is, even if she’s living with her parents, right?). And if you are a man and your parents have space for you, there is what we call “emotional leaving”. You can live under their roof with your spouse and leave “emotionally.”
Now when I saw this Scripture of a man leaving…I said wow! There is nothing wrong living with in-laws (for starters). You might chuckle, but many young couples including myself could have easily started with in-laws for some time to raise money and move out.
Look at these precedence(s):
Noah: Lived with his sons and their wives (Genesis 6:18)
Abraham: Married and stayed with Terah, till they moved out (Genesis 11:31)
Jacob: Married and stayed in Laban’s house till they moved out (Read Genesis 29 carefully)
Isaac: Married and stayed with his wife in his mothers tent (Genesis 24:67)
Moses: Married and stayed with Jethro till they moved out. I love Moses’ instance, let me quote it. “And Moses was CONTENT to dwell with the man: and he gave Moses Zipporah his daughter” (Exodus 2:21)
You really are not wiser than these Patriarchs or Prophet of God are you?
Congratulations to you if you are living with your in-laws or parents now. You are wise!(just don’t settle there) and if you are struggling living on your own and your in-laws or parents have a place, please be humble enough and go sort yourself out there.
If you are single and yet to marry and your in-laws have a place, don’t let your ego lead you and say you won’t live with them; after all you just want to start out from there. Trust me you will save money.
No matter how “horrible” you think your in-laws are, please stop your pride…it is with the same “horribleness” they raised your spouse. You think your in-laws are “horrible”? What are you a Christian/Muslim for “if you love only those who love you”.
Be humble and save some money. Don’t look anywhere, you can make money from your in-laws if they have space for you.
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