The Big Man’s Laptop – Kwame Gyan

I get furious when I hear so-called motivational speakers, business leaders, politicians, pastors and religious leaders and our society’s big men try to motivate young people on how they can secure jobs or start their own businesses etc. These men will give the most textbook-definition of strategies and speak with so much passion some people are fooled into believing them. Yes, some of the stuff they say sometimes makes sense. Other times they are just as pointless and non-sensible as you can have them. Sometimes I want to shout “OH SHUT UP! You double-tongued…the rest I can’t publish.

 

Now what is my beef! I will tell you.

 

I have several female friends who on a daily basis are harassed by some of these same big men when they approach them for job opportunities. Some tell me ‘KG, you wouldn’t believe what Mr. XYZ, yes the XYZ the whole world knows asked of me’. Many of my friends will tell me how many people have promised them jobs but with the sex conditions firmly at the top of it. It is as though these big men with the wherewithal to offer jobs went for some conference and agreed on the template to use. They all speak the same language, all of them.

 

Because of how scarce the job market is and the apparent frustration in landing jobs, I am told you have instances where even the lowest ranked in certain companies will seek to have sex with prospective applicants with the vain promise that they will secure them jobs when they have no locus in that regard. The frustrations of the young graduate in our current job environment are that precarious. It is a recurring theme being played out on a daily and perhaps hourly basis with the people who we may expect to correct it being in the forefront of its execution. There simply are not jobs out there.

 

I have heard some women severally how men are like dogs, chasing after everything feminine and wanting to jerk off with just about anybody and anywhere too. The man you see on TV or hear on radio preaching to you about how to prepare yourself for the job market does not believe in his own words at all. He is the same man who will ask of a young woman a sex date before considering her for a job. Yes some girls will gladly oblige, others may do so grudgingly, but there are others who will slap the faces of these men and then walk away.

Sadly, there are not too many of the last group. Some will tell you that look they need the job, if a few rounds of sex will get them a job and pull them away from the unemployed markets they will do so.  It is not strange when you find a female employee clearly underperforming but yet keeping her job. She may not be able to understand and do the office work well enough, but she is an expert elsewhere and the boss gives her full marks there. It’s a case of using what they have to get what they need. There is yet another group of women who prefer to be LAPTOPS. Yes, laptops.

 

The first time I heard the word Laptop was in 2005 when some journalist-colleagues of mine reporting from Parliament first mentioned it. Before I confuse you, Laptop does not refer to the portable computer you carry with you in a backpack. But this one is carried alright, and in a way in a backpack. Laptop here refers to the young women that our big men and politician carry with them on their numerous committee meetings or business trips to satisfy their sexual and amorous pleasures.

 

These laptops are often young, curvy, sometimes voluptuous and sexy students or unemployed graduates who are prepared to do almost anything to get some cash to live their dreams. Our dear honourables will leave their wives at home, watch a dedicated bus meant for their committee meetings go almost empty, and then go pick their laptops up for their meetings at some location most often outside Accra. From what I know and hear, these big men do take care of their laptops well.

 

You know how you do not need to expose your laptop to the elements of the weather? Yes, so they buy or rent well-furnished apartments. You see the need to update software, etc on your laptop? They update their wardrobes and supply them all their needs. You see the need to transport your laptop in safe, secured backpacks? They also buy them cars to enable them move around safely.

 

I sometimes feel I should not blame these young women. The issue of morality and uprightness is one I am not too comfortable discussing largely because I feel we are guilty of it at one point or another. One’s guilt may not be about owning a laptop, but it could relate to another subject which one may falter in. But when one stands atop a roof shouting all the nice things about an issue and doing the opposite, then we should question it.

 

When some of our young women are made to bend over to pick letters of employment by the big and respected in society then we should question and shame them. When less qualified people are offered jobs at the expense of better qualified ones just because they refused to suck it in and take it in, then we should feel sad for our society and name and shame.

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