When The Wrong One Loves You – By Nana Akosua Opoku

I once heard the seven-year-old son of my neighbour cry out: this is not fair; it’s not fair; life is not fair! I didn’t bother to find out what was to account for this outburst. I only smiled at his statement.

I was glad a child at his age had come to realise that life wasn’t fair. Certainly, there are people who would question why i didn’t warn him against making such negative confessions. The thing is that i am a huge believer of the belief that positive thinking has a direct influence on your life. But let’s face the truth here; Life has never been fair and it never will! Call it pessimism, but it is the unpleasant truth.

There are countless scenarios that can be recounted in which what should have been never was because things worked in favour of someone else. A typical scenario where people sometimes suffer from this unfairness is when it comes to the human emotion love and relationships.

The best feeling, with regard to our emotions, is when we are loved in return by the one we love, though sometimes the love returned is not in equal measure like ours. For those fortunate enough to find someone who loves them back, they can conclude that life is fair; but why wouldn’t they?

On the other hand of the divide are those who love someone who is in love with another person and therefore refuses to look their way, yet alone consider their presence and love. The equation in this kind of emotional race is quite funny. The equation reads: A loves B, but B does not tolerate A because B is busy pursuing C, who I must add has a boyfriend or sees B as not being her ‘taste.’

The irony of such situations is that the one whose love is not returned would have been the perfect partner and the one who refuses to give him/her a chance ends up settling for someone half the man or woman the first person is.

For the one whose love is so unrequited will surely conclude that life is not fair and why shouldn’t he/her not think so? Celine has a song, “When the Wrong One Loves you Right,” which talks on this issue. It is quite painful to love someone unconditionally to the extent that you are willing to bear the pain of that person, but unfortunately that person whom you love doesn’t acknowledge your existence to even think for a moment how you might be feeling.

In trying to win the heart of their love interest, people have been noted to have made some silly comments and suggestions. One of such preposterous comments is: My love is big and the two of us can share so don’t worry if you don’t love me. Ei!

Hmmm, what an assumption to make! A relationship most clearly cannot thrive on a one-man love when relationships are about two people. The saying is “two hearts beat as one” and it shows that both hearts ought to feel the emotion before a successful journey can be embarked on. Having a colossal love, and i must add a love that is not returned, is not enough to see you through a journey full of highs and lows.

If love can die between people then it can also grow between people. I believe love must be allowed room to grow if the person is willing. But  you should only give it room to grow when both parties are willing to give love a chance. But, and a big but at that, never must love be forced on someone. Anyone unwilling to give you a chance to love him/her must be allowed to go. Bugging someone day and night will only make the person lose respect for you.

There have been instances where people agreed to go out with a particular person because they felt they were doing that person a favour or because the person just wouldn’t have no for an answer. The funny thing is that the person who mounted so much pressure on someone to agree to date him/her thinks in these instances that persistence pays. The truth is that it did not; it only got you mercy love.

Granted that it is a difficult thing to do, but just walk away with your dignity intact when someone you have feelings for spite you for your love. That you opened your heart to love makes you experienced and a better person. Just tell yourself your love interest is not worthy of your love and walk away with your head high and wait for the right one to come your way.

We can only console ourselves with the saying that, ”God knows best,” and add that “He makes all things beautiful in His time.” Love is a beautiful thing, they say, so let us not get it twisted.

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