Short Story: Loving Pain (III) – By Celestine Nudanu


 “Ayele, you ought to tell him about the pregnancy, at least.” Esi said, not for the first time. It was a Saturday and we were in my room at home, relaxing on my bed. I was about five months gone; it had happened the day he told me it was all over. The knowledge of his baby growing in me somewhat assuaged the pain and despair of losing him.

I stared forlornly at my friend, not seeing her at all. Chris’ words had cut deep into my soul that fateful day in his room.

“My love, it is over between us.” He had said softly.

The sorrow in his eyes made me realise that he was serious and I felt a sharp pain in my heart. “Why?” I whispered, afraid to breath.

“I need to find myself.” He said simply and the anguish in his voice tore at my heart. Chris had never felt inferior to me and I know that I’d never made him feel insecure. I had always found him intelligent and world wise. All he lacked was the paper certificate to prove it.

He had taken me in his arms, weeping hard, trying to make me understand the desire in him to make something out of himself before he could have me as his wife. I told him I didn’t care, hadn’t we said that we could be together while he pursued his dreams? He had even enrolled for the access course so why the sudden change of heart? Someone had interfered. I knew it. When I found out who it was, I was sure to do something bad to that person!

I did not ask him to re-consider. There was no need. I just gave myself to him to be loved totally and completely for the last time. I desperately needed him to erase the agony and emptiness that had crept into my soul, into my very being, if only for the moment.

Somehow, I managed to live though the days. My work kept me busy and Esi filled my days. My nights were full of memories of his love, his laughter, his sweetness, his warmth, his gentle touch, his kisses, his essence and his seed that was growing in me and somehow through the pain of losing him, I knew that fate will bring him back to me one day. Until then, I will wait.

I was jolted to the present by Esi who was gently shaking me. “Hey, come to earth, what is the matter?”

“I’m fine, Esi. What were you saying?”

“You always do this sort of thing, Ayele, stop thinking about Chris. It will harm his baby.”

“Yeah, but you know, I can’t stop thinking about him, ever. He is my soul mate.”


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